A dose of wisdom: Failure is your friend

This society is crooked. We have grown up learning that nobody remembers who comes second. In motivational speeches, a common question is often asked:

Who climbed Mt. Everest first? Yes, we all know: Sir Edmund Hillary of New Zealand and Tenzing Norgay, a Sherpa of Nepal. They reached the summit on May 29, 1953. Okay, maybe you don’t remember the exact date, but we all know their names. And here comes the next question: Who climbed Mt. Everest second?

Yes, no one remembers who did it second, and this mindset is reinforced everywhere—from motivational speeches to schools. From a very young age, we are taught that being second means having no value in society. Forget about failing at something or being last at something; if you come second, you are considered insignificant.

We are always rewarded for being first. If you become first, you’ll be given this and that, but nobody ever tells us what happens if we come last or fail an exam. Are you left deserted?

Let’s take a closer look at how life actually works.

Here are five examples of highly competitive exams worldwide where a large number of candidates participate, but the success rate is extremely low:

1. Union Public Service Commission (UPSC) Civil Services Examination (India)

◦ Candidates: Over 1 million candidates register, with around 500,000 appearing for the preliminary exam.

◦ Success Rate: Less than 0.2% (about 1,000 candidates are finally selected).

2. Gaokao (National College Entrance Examination) (China)

◦ Candidates: About 10 million students take the exam annually.

◦ Success Rate: Only about 1-2% get into top-tier universities, making it highly competitive.

3. Common Admission Test (CAT) (India)

◦ Candidates: Over 200,000 candidates appear for the exam each year.

◦ Success Rate: Less than 2% of candidates score high enough to be called for an interview at a top IIM.

4. Bar Exam (United States)

◦ Candidates: Tens of thousands of candidates take the Bar Exam each year across different states.

◦ Success Rate: Varies by state, but in some states like California, the pass rate is as low as 40-50%.

5. Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) for Top Universities (United States and globally)

◦ Candidates: Over 2 million students take the SAT each year.

◦ Success Rate: The acceptance rate for top universities can be as low as 3-5%, making admission highly competitive.

In summary, we fail more often than we achieve success. Even those who succeed face repeated failures before they finally make it. If you observe closely, you’ll notice that people fail more often than they reach the top of their game.

Therefore, to navigate the chaos of life, we need to embrace failure. We must accept that failure is inevitable. Failure is not the end; it’s an indication that your journey might be longer than anticipated. Failure is a chance to learn and grow. Psychologically, we need to learn how to handle defeat and cope with frustration. Trust me, if you can’t handle failure, you can’t handle success either, and you don’t truly deserve success.

Here are my top tips on how to handle failure and cope psychologically:

• It’s a mind game—do not get obsessed with winning.

• Do not attach defeat to any emotions.

• Sigh, close your eyes, and then smile, saying to yourself, “Oh God, like this!!”

• Be kind to yourself; have some good food and take a few days off.

• Write down on paper how you’re feeling before going to bed.

• Celebrate the work you’ve put in and acknowledge what you’ve learned.

• Most importantly, do not panic; it is never the end of the world.

• Befriend the situation and feel proud that you did everything within your control.

• Accept that the day was not yours.